Priorities for Parent Leaders in Youth Ministry

Great parent leaders can make the difference! Without them, students would not be supported and encouraged in their faith in quite the same way. Parents have a brilliant perspective and understand more clearly what is at stake for our students.

On the other hand, poor parent leaders can be a nightmare! But I've found that with intentional investment and clear direction, parents can become some of my most effective leaders. It might feel like extra work compared to what we put into other leaders, but great parent leaders can make an impactful and lasting difference in students lives. Here are six priorities I have for parent leaders:  

1) Check with the Student First: Always ask potential parent leaders to check with their students and to see how they feel about them leading. Sometimes parents are surprised by the answers they get. In addition, I often follow up with students too. They might tell me a different story…

2) Discover Their Motives: Ask them why they really want to be a leader. Ask them to share their heart and passion for youth ministry. You will quickly discover whether they are a “helicopter parent” who wants to hover over their kid at youth group or whether they have a heart for all the students.

3) Have a Level Playing Field: Just because they are parents does not mean you have to be soft with your standards. Recruit, interview, and ask questions—just like you would any other leader.

4) Don't Let Parents Parent: We have a rule for parents that says, "You are not allowed to parent your student while at our events and programs. Period”! The last thing Johnny wants is mom or dad chewing him out in front of his friends at youth group. Instead, I instruct parents to pass the baton to another leader if their student needs direction or discipline.

5) Keep Them Apart: As best I can, I never have the parent lead the small group of their student. I actually instruct parents to give their kids as much room as possible. Even when there seems to be a great relationship, it only takes one comment or action to embarrass…

6) Revisit Parent / Student Relationships: Every year when I have my leaders sign a new leader covenant, I always have them ask their students again to make sure they feel comfortable with them being there. I have realized that a freshman girl is quite different from a senior who has a parent around.

Again, it might like a lot of extra work for parent leaders, but over the long haul they can be some of our most effective and influential leaders in our ministry. What’s most important is the lasting impact we will s