build a healthy relationship with your senior pastor (part 2)
Today, we will add four more ideas to yesterday’s three ideas for building a healthy relationship with your senior pastor.
4. BE PREPARED WHEN YOU MEET TOGETHER
You can respect your senior pastor’s time by preparing before you meet. Show up to your meeting with two copies of an articulate agenda. By doing this, you will respect your senior pastors time and may find yourself getting more of it in the future. You don’t want to be that one draining staff person who is unorganized and never gets to the main purpose of your time together.
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Josh Griffin and Doug Fields have teamed up to write a new book for small group
leaders. Check out 99 Thoughts for Small Group Leaders here.
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Ask for help and/or wisdom on the difficult decisions (this is especially true if you are facing a crisis--don’t try to tackle all the biggies alone). Be sure to communicate the possible solutions and indicate which one you are leading toward. If you simply show up to a meeting with a problem, you’ll be making it your senior pastor’s problem. If you ask him/her to respond to the thinking you’ve already done on the problem, you’ll demonstrate your competence for problem solving as well as your humility for wanting additional experience and wisdom.
5. INVITE HIM/HER TO YOUR MINISTRY EVENTS
Be strategic and think through a couple different ways your senior pastor can contribute to your ministry. It may be something as simple as a brief appearance at a volunteer training, or a short message to the teenagers or it may be as much as showing up to a camp or retreat. Invite with great enthusiasm, but also give him/her an “out” for attending--knowing that your senior pastor has many pressing time demands.
6. TRY TO CONNECT RELATIONALLY
Take a risk and invite your senior pastor to hang out. He/she may not want to play a round of Halo on your Xbox, but an informal meal or coffee can assist toward improving your relationship. If your offer is rejected, even though it will be difficult to swallo, try not to take it too personal (it just may not be their style of connecting).
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Josh Griffin and Doug Fields have teamed up to write a new book for small group
leaders. Check out 99 Thoughts for Small Group Leaders here.
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7. BE YOURSELF
You don’t want to do ministry as a fake--you won’t last over the long haul. Too many youth workers go too far when they sacrifice their integrity by putting up a façade or pretending their someone they’re not. You can’t be the person you think your senior pastor wants you to be—you’ve got to be yourself. It’s more fun, and it’s definitely a better way to build an authentic relationship.
You may never be “best friends” with your senior pastor, but your side of the relationship can be encouraging and healthy. Are you doing your part?
Conversation
This may be an idea to expand
This may be an idea to expand from this topic down the line. This situation is straining the previously great relationship I have had with my senior pastor. I started almost 3 years ago as part-time with the intent of making me full-time within the year (finances weren't there). 2.5 years later, we had a conversation about the sad state of the youth ministry of this church. Though it smarted a little bit, I knew the youth ministry was in a sad state. Between being a youth pastor and my other job, I was burning out. My senior pastor told me the things he thinks would need to happen before the youth ministry was not only back to where it should be for me to keep my job, but also in a place where it would require a full-time youth pastor. I quit my 2nd job to place focus back on the ministry. I knew that I could end up having to find another job again but the hope was that the rally tim would pay off. This was all stuff that I felt like God was directing me to do.
We had another conversation a few weeks ago. The youth ministry is at the place where we could have a full-time youth pastor. This ministry has grown more than I could have imagined, and it was over the summer! There is a testimony to God's greatness! The finances are also there. Only problem is now he wants to find a part-time kids pastor. I have no idea how long I'll have to wait after that happens.
It's been almost three years and and we are on the 3rd, "We could, but..." This is really draining me because I find it harder and harder to trust my senior pastor. After I come thru on my part, he hasn't been holding up his part. It is also causing a lot of stress at home between finances and simply feeling hurt and left aside.
How does one proceed here? Will this happen? How do I safeguard from getting bitter and protect my relationship with my senior pastor?
Thanks,
pb
At this time in the call that
At this time in the call that God has given me of full time Youth Pastor for the last three years. I would have to say I have not felt full peace. I am trusting in God to work in a big way. I need Him to show me what He wants me to do.
I have been truly blessed, to
I have been truly blessed, to read the last two articles, as it relates to relationships of the youth and senior pastors. I have been in a full-time youth pastor position, for the last three years, without any type of relationship with the senior pastor. I'm extremely grateful for the points listed in the article, which I plan to use, in preparing for my meeting with him in the morning. I've tryed in various ways to display my support for him and his leadership, but it seems to be ignored and given a cold shoulder, so to speak. I've invited him to several functions, to no avail and it is to the point, where the youth notice his absence. I continue to work the work, because I know my faithfulness is to God and not him, but it would be nice to be shown support, every now and then! I wholeheartedly agree, I have to continue to be me and that it what I plan to do, until the Lord releases me, from this position.
Blessings,
RAW
What if your senior pastor is
What if your senior pastor is the one that is draining, unprepared, and never gets to the point. Not to mention a terrible leader all around. Then how do you handle that?
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