Selling Yourself Without Sounding Like a Salesperson

Youth ministers interviewing for new positions face a curious dilemma. We need to differentiate ourselves from every other candidate, yet not be arrogant or self-serving. In short, we want the church to “buy,” but we really don’t want to “sell.”

We would be wise to take a lesson from the doctor’s office. When I have an appointment, I’m always buying but my doctor is never selling. He understands that his role is to be responsive to each patient’s unique combination of symptoms before offering a one-size-fits-all solution.

Imagine, by contrast, approaching your doctor the same way most search committees approach interviewees: “I’m looking for the best drug you’ve got, Doc. What can you do for me?”

A good physician would never take that bait, and neither should we. Instead, she first asks questions, such as “Where does it hurt?” She listens, asks a few more questions, offers a treatment plan—and you buy.

What if, instead of inflicting churches with our unbridled confidence in our abilities and accomplishments, we approached interviews as medical professionals do: asking good questions, finding out where it hurts, then (and only then) explaining how we might implement a customized treatment plan?

It usually takes a minimum of 10 questions or follow-up questions to start getting to the heart of a church’s concerns. Remember, you’ll want to spend twice as much time making inquiries and listening as you do talking.

With a church that already has a healthy youth ministry, you’ll want to shift the conversation from a medical metaphor to a construction metaphor. In this case, achieve your desired results by asking the architect’s question: “What would you like to build?”

If the answer is, “We want more teenagers to have a closer relationship with God,” follow up with, “Tell me a little bit about what that might look like for you.” Taking time to listen keeps you from jumping into selling yourself as the one-size-fits-all solution, which is the approach almost every other candidate will take.

With the non-sales approach, search-committee members will see a candidate who cares more about the youth ministry’s success than about getting a job. When you care first about the particular church (see Philippians 2:4), it reminds everyone in the conversation—including yourself—that your mission is to partner with the church to fulfill its goals rather than to come in as a lone ranger to fulfill your own. ◊