The Dirty Word of Youth Ministry

Youth ministry today is in desperate need. It is not in need of more programming or more volunteers to run countless activities. It is not in need of another social, the latest activity or even another trip. No, youth ministry is in desperate need for it's leadership to start incorporating a four letter word into it's vocabulary.

For many in youth ministry, the desire to utter a verbal expletive comes on occasion. For some this desire to let one fly comes more frequently than it does for others. One filthy word that often runs through our mind, but if uttered from our lips would receive piercing glares, especially from those in the church, is the four letter word ...rest.

When the word rest is mentioned in relation to pastoral ministry, it is often met with blank stares or comes with the general assumption you are using the word to describe what you do the remainder of the week, excluding Sunday. While it may confuse some outside of vocational ministry, for the insiders, the word causes many to cringe. Why does the word "rest" leave such a bitter taste in our mouths and what drives us to be people who feel guilty when we consider it?

Busyness has reached epic proportions within society at large and the church has become a strange bedfellow. At times this may be intentional but perhaps we have been lulled into believing it is the norm. Recently a keynote speaker arrived via plane for an event focused on the theme of "Renewed". As we entered into conversation about his church planting, ministry and work schedule, he proceeded to reveal that with the exception of his 2 hour flight into the city, he had been up for over 36 hours. Although he probably had much to do and accomplish, one may question his ability to speak of being renewed when his spirit was far from refreshed. This may be a bit extreme, but it is not even close to the exception. Perhaps it has become the rule.

When was the last time you greeted a fellow youth worker and heard them say with true conviction that life is not hectic, hurried, or busy but rather the pace of life is allowing for good rest. In fact, the badge of business is what many wear to define themselves. We have allowed ourselves to become puppets to the slavery of time and busyness, and for some of us, the truth is we have become slaves to our youth ministry, our church, even to the significance of ministry.

Having lost sight of what God desires of his followers as it relates to Sabbath, we float back and forth between feeling out of control and barely hanging on. Instead of acquiescing to being stressed, tired, and overwhelmed, perhaps we need to unearth the reasons why there may be a lack of rest in our lives as well as take some practical steps to adjust our "dirty word" vocabulary.

One such cause is the speeding up of society. Over 150 years ago, de Tocqueville observed "The American is always in a hurry."[i] Testimony before a Senate subcommittee in 1967 forecasted that "by 1985, people could be working just 22 hours a week or 27 weeks a year or could retire at 38."[ii] The foremost challenge facing citizens in the 1990s should have been what to do with all the leisure time.[iii] Instead, our society is getting faster by the second and the demands of life, family, and ministry are only increasing. Kerby Anderson in the article "Time and Busyness" states, "As the pace of our lives has increased, over-commitment and busyness have been elevated to socially desirable standards. Being busy is chic and trendy. Pity the poor person who has an organized life and a livable schedule. Everyone, it seems, is running out of time."[iv]

Another dramatic societal shift is the way we are viewed as individuals. People used to be defined by their family or societal role: being identified as husbands and wives, sons and daughters, fathers, and children. However, we have become the first culture that defines ourselves by what we attain or become, causing us to begin to internally focus on what we do rather than who we are. We develop a need to prove to ourselves and others that we are something; that we are busy enough to matter.

Robert Levine, the professor of psychology and Associate Dean of the College of Science and Mathematics at California State University in his article "Geography of Busyness" states, "If you casually greet Americans with the question "How are you?" they're liable to respond about how busy their life is, perhaps scrunching up their faces and bodies to show how anxious and stressed they feel. The odd thing about this is that both parties understand the response may be a type of bragging, as in "Look how important I am."... (this) is readily accepted...in a culture which assumes....that every moment not doing something is a wasted one. To be busy, is to be a worthwhile person."[v]

But what does this pace of life do to us? What happens when we live on this perpetual 24/7 treadmill? "The Chinese join two characters together to form a single pictograph for the word busyness. The two words are heart and killing".[vi] The statement they are making in the depiction of this word is that the busy life takes the greatest toll on the heart. Not only on the heart as it relates to the physical life, but the heart as it relates to the spiritual. Pope Benedict quoting St. Bernard warns, "It is necessary to pay attention to the dangers of excessive activity...(because) numerous occupations often lead to hardness of heart..."[vii]

When we get tired or emotionally worn down, we tend to lose our caring spirit. We begin to not care about what we usually care about. We lose zeal for the most important things. We lose passion for people, the focus of our ministry. We lose passion for the Word of God and the focus of that Word, Christ. We stop caring about church, family, friends, relationships and instead make life about tasks, deadlines, projects, trips, and papers. We know we are busy when we stop caring about the things we care about!

When we do not schedule margin into our lives or leave out Sabbath and rest from our schedule, we become shallow people. If we cannot put our work down it means we are probably taking ourselves too seriously and not taking God seriously enough. We become a mile wide and an inch deep. We lack the time to reflect, to quiet ourselves and think; to recharge our batteries. A lack of rest leads to a lack of depth.

If we are to tackle this monumental challenge we must take practical steps toward Sabbath. Begin with scheduling in Sabbath. Plan out a schedule that consists of 15 minutes a day, 1 hour a week, 1 day a month, and 1 weekend a year for Sabbath. Make this a reality by discussing this with your boss or coworker in ministry, scheduling this into your calendar, and programming it in your phone. It is amazing how the calendar seems to take precedence over most everything. Make your priority Sabbath. In addition, balance your Sabbath time. Make sure you include some a-vocational time (not related to work), some contemplative time (spiritual disciplines), and some inactive time (doing nothing to the glory of God). Perhaps have someone hold you accountable for your rest versus work habits.

Perhaps we as youth leaders need to inject some planned limit on productivity into our ministry. That may mean fewer goals, different expectations, less activities and simpler structures. Maybe it means that in order to honor God with your rest you may risk doing less.

What the church needs today is not another program but another leader who has an inner passion to change the world because they are rested. We need a leadership that has become convinced of the importance of rest. It just may become our favorite four letter word.

[i] John P. Robinson "Busyness as usual". Social Research. Summer 2005. FindArticles.com. 22 Aug. 2008. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2267/is_2_72/ai_n15763235

[ii] Nancy Gibbs, "How America Has Run Out of Time", Time Magazine, 24 April 1989, http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,957505-1,00.html

[iii] Kerby Anderson, Technology, Spirituality, and Social Trends: Probing the Headlines that Impact Your Family (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Kregel Publications, 2002, p. 140

[iv] Probe Ministries, Kerby Anderson, "Time and Busyness", http://www.probe.org/site/c.fdKEIMNsEoG/b.4218335/k.AF9C/Time_and_Busyness.htm, Accessed 1 August 2008.

[v] Robert V. Levin, "Geography of Busyness", Social Research, "BUSYNESS" Volume 72 No. 2 (Summer 2005), Arien Mack, Editor. http://www.newschool.edu/centers/socres/vol72/issue722.htm

[vi] Wayne Muller, Sabbath: Restoring the Sacred Rhythm of Rest (New York: Bantam, 1999), 3.

[vii] Benedict XVI, VATICAN CITY, AUG. 20, 2006 (Zenit.org)