four ways to develop leaders through failure

It's no secret that it's difficult to do great youth ministry. But, it's even more difficult to do great ministry AND effectively develop other leaders. 

These two values--doing great ministry and developing great ministry leaders—often clash against one another and the collision can be painful. A key ingredient for developing healthy student leaders is to allow them to fail, flop, and flounder...and this goes against the value of doing great ministry. Think about the consequences of allowing student leaders to fail:

Programs may not start on time...or at all...
Teaching may be a slightly more heretical than yours...
Songs may sound like the rejected contestants from American Idol...

Standing on the sideline while allowing leaders to learn thru their failure is very painful (sign me up for a root canal instead). That's why so many short-sided leaders have developed the kind of thinking that says, "If you want something done right, do it yourself." Sure, you can avoid some pain if you do everything by yourself, but if you do everything yourself you won't last and neither will your ministry. 

It's ego inflating to be the lone-ranger youth worker, but it's Kingdom building when your ministry isn't solely dependent on your leadership. The currency for that kind of success is "failure" and the price is often steep. By allowing others to experience failure you will be hurt, frustrated, and you may even experience conflict with others, but it will be Kingdom building.

Sustaining a great ministry over time requires a commitment to letting leaders fail. The upside of failure is that failure is an excellent teacher and will prepare the growing leader to lead better. Here are some practical ideas for how you can allow your teenage leaders to fail:

Strengthen your relational foundation. You'll need that trust to build-up and encourage the leader after the failure. 

Give away real responsibility. Don't dump or delegate… instead, entrust. When a responsibility is real, the growth is deeper and lasts longer. When I (Matt) was a sophomore in high school, Doug (at the time, my youth pastor) asked me to teach a devotional at our weekly meeting--I was blown away at the responsibility. I've got to imagine that Doug was equally blown away by my failures! But, it was by being entrusted with a significant responsibility that I learned to teach. 

A unique caution that I (Doug) learned from watching Matt jump at the described teaching responsibility was the difference between "let him fail" and "set him up to fail." As leaders, we don't need to set kids up to fail… they're perfectly capable of that on their own. We need to set them up to win and then allow occasional failures to become instrumental teachers. 

Commit to sitting on the sidelines and don't save the failure. If you have a hard time standing on the sidelines, consider planning an absence so you can't be present to "save it." Call in sick, take the night off, treat your spouse to a date and allow others to lead occasionally. You'll both be better off!

Follow-up with questions. Resist the urge to pontificate and offer all the pearls of wisdom you've learned over the years as a leader. Even if they ask you, consider holding your response and instead ask, "What do you think God's taught you through this responsibility?" Then listen. Correct gently. Encourage loudly.

Good leaders do great ministry. Great leaders do good ministry and develop leaders by allowing them to fail.