I Can't...But He Can

There isn’t a youth worker I know who doesn’t get his or her fair share (or unfair share) of criticism. Youth ministry critics come in the forms of students, parents, volunteers, other church leaders, and even the janitor. When I write or speak about this topic, I seem to hit a common youth ministry nerve. It seems criticism has the amazing ability to take the fun out of youth ministry faster than the annoying pastor’s kid.

It’s amazing that I can listen to a youth worker describe a great youth ministry event—one with fruitful results and wonderful stories of life change—but the dominant aspect of the story is the one critical response they received. Ninety-nine percent of the event turned out great, but it’s the 1 percent that grips us. What’s that about? Why do we do that?

I believe one of the reasons we easily listen to criticism from others is because it lives so strongly in ourselves. There’s an inner critic that’s more influential and destructive than the outside critics. It seems like youth workers are saying “I can’t” more than ever. I hear it in conversations; I read it in emails; and I know it looms in one’s inner dialogue...“I can’t.” It’s an ugly term.

When I can’t is part of your leadership vocabulary, it’ll eventually leave you hopeless and weak. When I hear my ministry friends share their fears about being inadequate to lead their ministries, I know they’re moving toward a route of eventual ineffectiveness.

I can’t is a defeating and negative term I’d like to challenge you to stop using. I’m not trying to push you toward the power of positive thinking or asking you to become arrogant and unaware of your limitations. Instead, I’m begging you to develop confidence in your ministry and leadership. As I write this, I’m returning from three different national youth ministry conventions where I heard a lot of youth workers say “I can’t,” and I heard enough of their hearts to know that they really can.

Let me go practical: Spend some time reflecting on your last month and identify the times you told yourself that you couldn’t do something. For example:

• I can’t lead that person.

• I can’t speak to that group.

• I can’t get that vision through to them.

After you identify some of those “I can’t” times, write something that you know to be theologically true next to your “I can’t” statement.

• I can’t lead that person...without God’s help.

• I can’t speak to that group...without God’s wisdom.

• I can’t get that vision through to them...without God giving me a clear picture of what he wants.

This action may seem simple, but it’s not simplistic. I’m sure you want to be part of building a healthy youth ministry. So ask God to help you be the leader he created you to be. You may be frightened, but he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. It’s not about your power...it’s about his presence providing you with the power that can shatter the “I can’t” and replace it with “I can.” If I were a youth pastor who made bets, I’d bet you could...with God’s power!

doug is the pastor to students at Saddleback Church in California. He’s the author of more than 30 books, including Youth Ministry Training on the Go (Group). He’s also founder of Simply Youth Ministry—www.simplyyouthministry.com.