Important vs. Most Important
9/10/2007
Despite the fact that most youth workers take part in a variety of important activities, effective youth workers learn to focus on what is even more important. I want to share with you some of what I shared at our recent PDYM conference regarding important verses most important.
In this message I focused on 10 contrasts that separate the important work of ministry from the most important.
1. Activities vs. Attention
Lock-ins, all-nighters and crazy games can be great activities to help students build community and connect with adult leaders, but I believe that students crave attention more than having a good time.
There have been times over my ministry career when I have focused so heavily on the activities themselves that I didn't spend enough time with students. The event might have come together seamlessly, but the more important element had been discarded.
I am convinced that you don't have to have a flashy youth ministry. Instead you need loving adults paying attention to students. When you do that, then your ministry will grow; students will want to share their faith and bring their friends to your ministry.
2. Programs vs. Passion
It's more important to be passionate about the programs you have, than to have numerous programs for which no one has a passion. Because of this I suggest you re-evaluate the programs you have and get rid of those you are not passionate about. This could be your first step toward a healthy ministry.
3. Numbers vs. Health
It is true, numbers are important. Numbers represent people hearing the Gospel. In fact I even suggest that your youth group keep track of your numbers. But remember this…bigger is not better, healthier is better!
4. Quality vs. Longevity
Youth ministers should take their work seriously and have pride in what they do. But longevity is more important than quality.
I believe that ministry gets better and easier the longer you last. I don't have the same difficulties I once had when I was new to youth ministry and new to my church. An example of this is now I find it easier to enlist volunteers into serving in youth ministry because people trust me. I have been in youth ministry and around this church for awhile now and I have earned their trust.
5. Adult Chaperones vs. Godly Leaders
You can't have kids driving the church van, youth ministries need adults. But more important than having adults is having godly leaders. I'd rather have one godly leader than 20 chaperones.
I encourage you to train the chaperones in your ministry to be “shepherds.” Students don't need chaperones; they need shepherds, godly men and women who will lead them.
If you find godly leaders “who are in love with Jesus” there will be no battles over a vision for the youth ministry. Everyone will want to see students in a more passionate relationship with Jesus.
6. Relevance vs. Relationships
I think youth ministers should make themselves students of youth culture, but I believe that relevance can be highly overrated. Most youth ministers are not as cool as they think they are. It isn't a youth minister's “coolness” that will make him effective in ministry.
I don't need to have tattoos. I don't need to have my nipples pierced. I don't need to wear boxers up high or baggy pants to have a relationship with a teenager.
When you have a relationship, you have relevance in a teenager's life.
7. Attraction vs. Retention
Attracting teenagers to a youth group isn't difficult with a little money. Students will always come to see a good show. But the fact is that life change happens in quality relationships and students cannot get that from the world.
8. Models of Youth Ministry vs. Mystery of God
It's great to learn from other youth ministries. Purpose Driven Youth Ministry is a great model of ministry, but there are many other good models out there as well.
More important than models of youth ministry is the mystery of God. There are some things about youth ministry that I can't explain and don't want to explain.
Don't be disillusioned by the supposed “steps” to increase the size of your youth group. Instead realize that growth is a “theological phenomenon.”
I can remember spending months planning a “back to school party.” Then when the guitarist broke three strings and could no longer play, the young girl giving her testimony got sick and one of the students had horrendous gas problems, I figured the night was a loss. But after the program, when a young lady in attendance told him that she felt the presence of God that night, I realized God had used the event despite the problems.
If you came to my church and you poked around and asked questions about what makes certain things work here, I'll have to tell you, ‘I don't know.' When you elevate the purposes, God does something, but I can't explain everything.
9. Students vs. Caring Adults
Obviously we as youth workers care about students and want to reach students. But youth workers should focus on recruiting more caring adults to the ministry. Your ministry must outlive you. In order to do this you must find people who will still be involved in the ministry when you leave.
When a lot of churches look for people to help out in the youth ministry, they look for people who are young and flashy. That's fine as long as those people are going to find other caring adults who are going to love those kids.
10. Talking about God vs. Talking with God
Most importantly remember that talking with God is more important than talking about God. I learned just how important this was when, in my seventh year of ministry at my previous church. I began to crash because I was depending on my own time and energy for ministry. I can remember pulling over to the side of the street after returning from a big youth retreat and tearing up. In those moments God encouraged me to stop trying to do everything on my own. While I had been doing a good job connecting students to the church, I had done a poor job connecting myself to God.
Let me encourage you not to rely on your own talents or skills to minister to teens, but instead to rely on God.
The great thing about youth ministry is when I show up to speak, I don't show up alone -- I show up with God.
Important vs. Most Important
My prayer for you is that you will come to recognize important versus most important. If you can focus your ministry and your life on the most important you will be amazed at what God does through you, in the lives of your students, in your ministry and in your church!
In this message I focused on 10 contrasts that separate the important work of ministry from the most important.
1. Activities vs. Attention
Lock-ins, all-nighters and crazy games can be great activities to help students build community and connect with adult leaders, but I believe that students crave attention more than having a good time.
There have been times over my ministry career when I have focused so heavily on the activities themselves that I didn't spend enough time with students. The event might have come together seamlessly, but the more important element had been discarded.
I am convinced that you don't have to have a flashy youth ministry. Instead you need loving adults paying attention to students. When you do that, then your ministry will grow; students will want to share their faith and bring their friends to your ministry.
2. Programs vs. Passion
It's more important to be passionate about the programs you have, than to have numerous programs for which no one has a passion. Because of this I suggest you re-evaluate the programs you have and get rid of those you are not passionate about. This could be your first step toward a healthy ministry.
3. Numbers vs. Health
It is true, numbers are important. Numbers represent people hearing the Gospel. In fact I even suggest that your youth group keep track of your numbers. But remember this…bigger is not better, healthier is better!
4. Quality vs. Longevity
Youth ministers should take their work seriously and have pride in what they do. But longevity is more important than quality.
I believe that ministry gets better and easier the longer you last. I don't have the same difficulties I once had when I was new to youth ministry and new to my church. An example of this is now I find it easier to enlist volunteers into serving in youth ministry because people trust me. I have been in youth ministry and around this church for awhile now and I have earned their trust.
5. Adult Chaperones vs. Godly Leaders
You can't have kids driving the church van, youth ministries need adults. But more important than having adults is having godly leaders. I'd rather have one godly leader than 20 chaperones.
I encourage you to train the chaperones in your ministry to be “shepherds.” Students don't need chaperones; they need shepherds, godly men and women who will lead them.
If you find godly leaders “who are in love with Jesus” there will be no battles over a vision for the youth ministry. Everyone will want to see students in a more passionate relationship with Jesus.
6. Relevance vs. Relationships
I think youth ministers should make themselves students of youth culture, but I believe that relevance can be highly overrated. Most youth ministers are not as cool as they think they are. It isn't a youth minister's “coolness” that will make him effective in ministry.
I don't need to have tattoos. I don't need to have my nipples pierced. I don't need to wear boxers up high or baggy pants to have a relationship with a teenager.
When you have a relationship, you have relevance in a teenager's life.
7. Attraction vs. Retention
Attracting teenagers to a youth group isn't difficult with a little money. Students will always come to see a good show. But the fact is that life change happens in quality relationships and students cannot get that from the world.
8. Models of Youth Ministry vs. Mystery of God
It's great to learn from other youth ministries. Purpose Driven Youth Ministry is a great model of ministry, but there are many other good models out there as well.
More important than models of youth ministry is the mystery of God. There are some things about youth ministry that I can't explain and don't want to explain.
Don't be disillusioned by the supposed “steps” to increase the size of your youth group. Instead realize that growth is a “theological phenomenon.”
I can remember spending months planning a “back to school party.” Then when the guitarist broke three strings and could no longer play, the young girl giving her testimony got sick and one of the students had horrendous gas problems, I figured the night was a loss. But after the program, when a young lady in attendance told him that she felt the presence of God that night, I realized God had used the event despite the problems.
If you came to my church and you poked around and asked questions about what makes certain things work here, I'll have to tell you, ‘I don't know.' When you elevate the purposes, God does something, but I can't explain everything.
9. Students vs. Caring Adults
Obviously we as youth workers care about students and want to reach students. But youth workers should focus on recruiting more caring adults to the ministry. Your ministry must outlive you. In order to do this you must find people who will still be involved in the ministry when you leave.
When a lot of churches look for people to help out in the youth ministry, they look for people who are young and flashy. That's fine as long as those people are going to find other caring adults who are going to love those kids.
10. Talking about God vs. Talking with God
Most importantly remember that talking with God is more important than talking about God. I learned just how important this was when, in my seventh year of ministry at my previous church. I began to crash because I was depending on my own time and energy for ministry. I can remember pulling over to the side of the street after returning from a big youth retreat and tearing up. In those moments God encouraged me to stop trying to do everything on my own. While I had been doing a good job connecting students to the church, I had done a poor job connecting myself to God.
Let me encourage you not to rely on your own talents or skills to minister to teens, but instead to rely on God.
The great thing about youth ministry is when I show up to speak, I don't show up alone -- I show up with God.
Important vs. Most Important
My prayer for you is that you will come to recognize important versus most important. If you can focus your ministry and your life on the most important you will be amazed at what God does through you, in the lives of your students, in your ministry and in your church!
Conversation
METHODIST MINISTER FAILING
METHODIST MINISTER FAILING TO LEAD MODERN YOUTH
Recently there has been a trend Connexionally whereby Ministers at the Societies and Circuits differs with the youth mainly Wesley Guild which lead to the bad relationship and ends up with Ministers failing to lead their Youths in the Circuits and Societies. When you listen to both sides of the stories, you hear two schools of thought, the difference being the old youth leadership approach and modern youth leadership approach. The main difference between the two is that the old leadership approach is mainly based on the Minister dictating, with less input from the youth and concentrating on discipline while the modern youth leadership is mainly the democratic approach that is based on listening to the youth and helping a young person feel comfortable and valued which the youth of today tolerate.
Many young people are living in the future. Their values, attitudes and behaviour are more in line with the way the world will work in future, than the way it works today or it used to work yesterday. Their ideas are at the forefront of fundamental changes occurring to a greater or lesser degree in many western societies, as we move from an industrial to a post modern world. This is not to say that all young people are riding on the crest of the wave of change: they are not. The have been an environmental change that include legal rights and responsibilities which has changed the way the youth need to be lead. We need to respond effectively to the changes now in order to build the church of tomorrow. While the final shape of the future is far from clear we can already see some of the changes which will take us there and some of the characteristics it may have. The basic principle of modern leadership approach will be to enable young men and women to initiate ideas and actions which promote their own development and that of their church, communities and broader society.
Ministers and Youth leaders blame youth discipline when they fail to catch up to lead them effectively. With an appreciation of children's developmental stages, Ministers can be more readily to help children learn self-control and ethical behavior. Discipline is just about learning how to behave well and interact in appropriate ways with other people and with oneself. Many will differ with me on this one, but my believe is that there are methods of discipline that teach modern youth to act in positive ways that are more effective than punishment like tongue lashing, spanking or money penalty for inappropriate behavior of discipline. A leader who uses old way of punishment to discipline youth teaches them violent behavior, not self-control and a child's self-esteem is shattered by such daily verbal assaults. And it's hard for a child to show respect for others when he's not shown the same respect. Let us discipline by responding to their needs with love, respect and consistency.
For the church not to perish, Methodist Ministers and youth leaders need to undergo classes on the following:
Being attentive to young people: Every group faces the problem of becoming a clique when the same people come on a regular basis. When new people come to a program or event, make sure that someone reaches out to them and welcomes them into the community.
Encourage interaction: When young people arrive at an event, they should be greeted and engaged in conversation or an activity. By being attentive to hospitality, the participants will not experience that awkward time of discomfort or uneasiness that they often feel when they are new or just getting to know people. Play a common game, start a conversation, or ask for help with setup; this gives young people a safe way of interacting.
Spend the time to build the youth: Adults often are so interested in getting to the information or the program activities which they believe are most important--that they ignore the importance of building church/community. We can't expect young people to share personal faith stories if they don't know one another's names. The times used to build church/community and create trusting relationships within the group are time well spent.
Define the role of competition: No matter what the activity may be, consider the amount and style of competition that is involved. Are all recreation times or icebreakers built around competition? Are activities designed around who can complete the project first? Competition isn't always bad, but too much of it can create an atmosphere in which young people don't know how to act other than in competition with each other.
Choose fund-raisers that build youth programs: Many parishes spend a significant amount of time raising money. When choosing fund-raisers, consider how each fund-raiser contributes to building youth organisations, both among the young people and between the young people and the parish community. Fund-raisers that involve individuals selling to neighbors do little to build church, but a car wash can be a fun experience for the young people and a benefit for the community. When a lot of churches look for people to help out in the youth ministry, they look for people who are young and flashy. That's fine as long as those people are going to find other caring adults who are going to love the youth. Remember, loving adults pay attention to others.
Create social times: By being attentive to the way you schedule events, most programs can include time for social interaction. By providing a little food, a space for recreation, and opportunities for small-group conversations, young people can have a safe place to find out more about one another, talk about things that interest them, and discover common interests.
In short, I belief that young people are hungry for relationships with adults who are genuine. They want you to be just as you are. I say be youth passionate, caring, talented, compassionate and professional youth minister or leader that you are, so be yourself. Love young people; see Jesus in each and every one of them. Modern youth need to have a sense of responsibility in line with the Bible. When you do that, then your ministry will grow; youth will want to share their faith and bring their friends to your Ministry. Be flexible by being sensitive to the needs of the youth and always anticipate the need to shift gears. Do not forget to advocate for a budget in the circuits and societies and very important. I think youth Ministers should make themselves students of youth culture by being relevant to modern youth. I don't need to have tattoos. You don't need to have my nipples pierced. I don't need to wear boxers up high or baggy pants to have a relationship with a teenager. When you have a relationship, you have relevance in a youth's life which results in earning their trust and respect.
Let me conclude by saying this to our Ministers and Youth Leaders as youth spiritual directors: I have been a youth leader and I am still a youth leader hence my main advice is that let us learn modern leadership approach, be accommodative and be patient. In general, it takes about three years to establish a strong youth Ministry in a circuit or society. Do not let your initial success be defined by the number of youth in your group. “Large youth groups are successful youth groups”, is it s myth? There will be times when you feel you are not having any impact on the youth in your group. Rest assured that the impact you are making on young peoples’ lives goes far beyond anything you can imagine, at the end of the day you will find that you have done well, good as a faithful servant. Rome was not built in a day, so sit back and take each day as it comes. Let us renew the vision and leadership framework for Methodist Youth Ministry by continuing youth formation, reading, reflecting and listen to the youth.
MATTHEWS MOOKETSANE BANTSIJANG
LIMPOPO DISTRICT YOUTH TREASURER
"I am convinced that you
"I am convinced that you don't have to have a flashy youth ministry. Instead you need loving adults paying attention to students/youth. When you do that, then your ministry will grow; students/youth will want to share their faith and bring their friends to your ministry." This is how simple it is.
Thanks.
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