Making Valentine's Day the Best
2/5/2008
“I feel like I’m here to change people’s hearts and minds, to say something that’s right for a change.” Those words about the power of music and media were spoken by hip-hop music icon Kanye West during a recent interview with Entertainment Weekly magazine. Late in the summer of 2006, West appeared on the MTV Video Music Awards to present the annual Video Vanguard Award to music video maker Hype Williams. In his introduction of Williams and his work, West told his own story of growing up and depending on music and music video to shape his life, teach him what to believe, and to show him how to live in the world.
I thought long and hard about West’s words and their accuracy as I watched the VMAs, a three-and-a-half hour extravaganza that celebrated the “virtue” of unbridled hedonism and lust. Sadly, I realized that what I was watching was powerfully shaping an emerging generation along with their values, attitudes, and behaviors. . . . particularly about love, sex, and relationships.
During this month when sales of roses and Valentine’s cards go through the roof, it’s good to stop and ponder the lessons Kanye West and his popular music-making peers are sending to our students, and whether those messages affirm or deny God’s amazingly wonderful and freedom-giving guidelines for His gifts of love, sex, and relationships. You see, by knowing what our kids are hearing in the world of popular music, we are then able to exercise our God-given responsibility to teach and guide our students by either celebrating or challenging music’s powerful messages.
In the overwhelming majority of cases, lyrics, videos, concerts, and the lifestyles of the stars all combine to send one clear message to anyone listening: When it comes to sex, express yourself! You can do whatever you want, with whomever you want, wherever you want, however you want, whenever you want! Today’s music is reflecting the predominant cultural values and attitudes regarding sexuality.
Take, for example, the way that the world of music is redefining the word “love.” In the world of popular music, “love” is everywhere. But what is “love” in that world? Sadly, “love” no longer refers to the lifelong commitment made exclusively to each other by two people of the opposite sex in marriege. Rather, it has been reduced to the act of sexual intercourse. I’ll be the first to admit that God’s gift of sexuality is incredible and good! But God has provided us with sexual guidelines that, when followed, allow for sex to be experienced in the best way possible. But this is not the message of today’s music. By reducing love to something that can be magically made between the sheets (or anywhere else for that matter) by two or more people who might not even know each other’s names, the music industry has contributed to the moral confusion and emptiness of our children.
Our students’ interest and involvement in popular music begins long before their hormones kick in. When they finally start to mature sexually and reach puberty, the music has already spoken to them about how to experience and practice their new-found feelings. Before, during, and after puberty are all crucial times when our kids need parents and youthworkers who will help them understand this confusing new mix of sexual desires and teach them about responsible and godly sexual expression. As they mature, they have many questions about what’s happening to their bodies. They are inquisitive about the new and intense set of sexual urges that they feel. Too often, their openness and curiosity is answered by the voice of music, which teaches them that sexual pleasure is an end in and of itself. In other cases, music “ministers” to kids lost in loneliness due to relational starvation caused by absent or indifferent parents. The sexual messages (both lyrical and visual) of today’s music lead many to pursue relationships and love by walking down the road of sexual intimacy.
My ongoing monitoring and evaluation of popular music over the last two decades has convinced me that our culture’s changing attitudes on sexual freedom expressed through a promiscuous and boundary-less lifestyle are one of the most overt and prevalent themes in today’s music. Research has shown that “depending on the music genre, one fifth to one half of all music videos portray sexuality or eroticism.” The most recent survey of popular music’s lyrical content among the 10 top-selling CDs “indicated that of the 159 songs analyzed, 42% contained sexual content, 41% of which were pretty explicit or very explicit.” Those who are disturbed by the sexual images in lyrics and videos are considered prudes, labeled as living in the moral dark ages, and accused of censoring lyrical, sexual, and artistic freedom. These accusations betray the prevailing attitudes of our culture. As a result, it’s important that you take the time to know and monitor what music your kids are gravitating towards, listening to, watching, and embracing. Pay special attention to the lyrical and visual content, looking for messages on sexuality that you can affirm, and those that you must challenge.
The music industry, like most other media outlets, insists they aren’t educating kids but only reflecting the sexual values and commitments already present in mainstream culture. In reality, they are doing both as they serve as a map and a mirror. The media does, however, increasingly express an obligation to educate kids about sexual responsibility. While this may sound noble, understand that this usually translates into teaching kids how to avoid messing up their lives by getting pregnant or contracting an STD. The real message in far too much of today’s music that’s coming through loud and clear is this: If it feels good, do it. The only consequences to avoid are pregnancy and disease. Have a good time, but don’t catch anything.
The message we’re called to communicate is one that prepares our teens to indulge in God’s wonderful gift of sexuality in a way that not only brings honor and glory to Him, but will lead to the best good feelings and experience of sexuality they could ever imagine. Talk to your students about music’s love and sex messages. Compare them to the love and sex messages of God’s Word. . . thereby leading them to hear a sexual message that’s “right for a change.” By doing so, you’ll be preparing them to experience this Valentine’s Day and every one to come with deep and wonderful meaning.
I thought long and hard about West’s words and their accuracy as I watched the VMAs, a three-and-a-half hour extravaganza that celebrated the “virtue” of unbridled hedonism and lust. Sadly, I realized that what I was watching was powerfully shaping an emerging generation along with their values, attitudes, and behaviors. . . . particularly about love, sex, and relationships.
During this month when sales of roses and Valentine’s cards go through the roof, it’s good to stop and ponder the lessons Kanye West and his popular music-making peers are sending to our students, and whether those messages affirm or deny God’s amazingly wonderful and freedom-giving guidelines for His gifts of love, sex, and relationships. You see, by knowing what our kids are hearing in the world of popular music, we are then able to exercise our God-given responsibility to teach and guide our students by either celebrating or challenging music’s powerful messages.
In the overwhelming majority of cases, lyrics, videos, concerts, and the lifestyles of the stars all combine to send one clear message to anyone listening: When it comes to sex, express yourself! You can do whatever you want, with whomever you want, wherever you want, however you want, whenever you want! Today’s music is reflecting the predominant cultural values and attitudes regarding sexuality.
Take, for example, the way that the world of music is redefining the word “love.” In the world of popular music, “love” is everywhere. But what is “love” in that world? Sadly, “love” no longer refers to the lifelong commitment made exclusively to each other by two people of the opposite sex in marriege. Rather, it has been reduced to the act of sexual intercourse. I’ll be the first to admit that God’s gift of sexuality is incredible and good! But God has provided us with sexual guidelines that, when followed, allow for sex to be experienced in the best way possible. But this is not the message of today’s music. By reducing love to something that can be magically made between the sheets (or anywhere else for that matter) by two or more people who might not even know each other’s names, the music industry has contributed to the moral confusion and emptiness of our children.
Our students’ interest and involvement in popular music begins long before their hormones kick in. When they finally start to mature sexually and reach puberty, the music has already spoken to them about how to experience and practice their new-found feelings. Before, during, and after puberty are all crucial times when our kids need parents and youthworkers who will help them understand this confusing new mix of sexual desires and teach them about responsible and godly sexual expression. As they mature, they have many questions about what’s happening to their bodies. They are inquisitive about the new and intense set of sexual urges that they feel. Too often, their openness and curiosity is answered by the voice of music, which teaches them that sexual pleasure is an end in and of itself. In other cases, music “ministers” to kids lost in loneliness due to relational starvation caused by absent or indifferent parents. The sexual messages (both lyrical and visual) of today’s music lead many to pursue relationships and love by walking down the road of sexual intimacy.
My ongoing monitoring and evaluation of popular music over the last two decades has convinced me that our culture’s changing attitudes on sexual freedom expressed through a promiscuous and boundary-less lifestyle are one of the most overt and prevalent themes in today’s music. Research has shown that “depending on the music genre, one fifth to one half of all music videos portray sexuality or eroticism.” The most recent survey of popular music’s lyrical content among the 10 top-selling CDs “indicated that of the 159 songs analyzed, 42% contained sexual content, 41% of which were pretty explicit or very explicit.” Those who are disturbed by the sexual images in lyrics and videos are considered prudes, labeled as living in the moral dark ages, and accused of censoring lyrical, sexual, and artistic freedom. These accusations betray the prevailing attitudes of our culture. As a result, it’s important that you take the time to know and monitor what music your kids are gravitating towards, listening to, watching, and embracing. Pay special attention to the lyrical and visual content, looking for messages on sexuality that you can affirm, and those that you must challenge.
The music industry, like most other media outlets, insists they aren’t educating kids but only reflecting the sexual values and commitments already present in mainstream culture. In reality, they are doing both as they serve as a map and a mirror. The media does, however, increasingly express an obligation to educate kids about sexual responsibility. While this may sound noble, understand that this usually translates into teaching kids how to avoid messing up their lives by getting pregnant or contracting an STD. The real message in far too much of today’s music that’s coming through loud and clear is this: If it feels good, do it. The only consequences to avoid are pregnancy and disease. Have a good time, but don’t catch anything.
The message we’re called to communicate is one that prepares our teens to indulge in God’s wonderful gift of sexuality in a way that not only brings honor and glory to Him, but will lead to the best good feelings and experience of sexuality they could ever imagine. Talk to your students about music’s love and sex messages. Compare them to the love and sex messages of God’s Word. . . thereby leading them to hear a sexual message that’s “right for a change.” By doing so, you’ll be preparing them to experience this Valentine’s Day and every one to come with deep and wonderful meaning.
Conversation
We need to empower our youth
We need to empower our youth and children to think for themselves rather than boasting that we have the "answers." There are many different ways to read the Bible in light of human sexuality. Your personal belief that "God has provided us with sexual guidelines" limiting moral sexual intimacy to "marriage between a man and a woman" is your interpretation. Many faithful Christians read the Bible very differently. Today we are preoccupied with sex but the Gospels seem little interested. It seems to me that the overwhelming themes of the Gospel focus on love, grace, and inclusion. Perhaps this, Christ's message, should guide our discussions on sexuality rather than moral relativism.
I believe it's
I believe it's both/and....not....either/or. And it begins with the child's first teachers...their parents.
I hate to bantor or wonder
I hate to bantor or wonder if your article should have ever been written but please consider this one small point. Why does the adult market always go after the general market laid out in the world and not see the problems we face individually as parents of children we are infuencing ourselves to live godly lives? I often wonder why the questions about sex that our children face are still basically unanswered just like they were when we were their age. I think we need to come together as godly adults as a group to identify and address
the issues our children face rather than going after a market where we have little control if any at all.
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