that one NEGATIVE kid

Does your ministry have NEGATIVE kids?

Teenagers who are more cynical and critical than others are easy to spot but tough to change. Everyone in the room typically knows how the negative kid is feeling because he or she is willing to openly share their cynicism. Unfortunately, negative teenagers can negativity impact a ministry:

..| the spirit can be quenched and the mood can be ruined
..| teaching times can be derailed
..| meaningful conversations can be cut short
..| programs can be ridiculed
..| negativity can become contagious and grow

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...| help your students overcome temptation
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If you’re like us, your natural response is to receive their negativity as personal attacks which triggers the desire to retaliate. While it may be a natural response, it’s obviously not a helpful response! Neither the ministry nor the negative teenager is helped by our counter-attack. Here are a few better options to pursue:

ENGAGE PERSONALLY
Go one on one with negative kids. Many teenagers can’t see the damage their negativity causes and can be influenced by a direct conversation. A negative kid may have negative parents and simply doesn’t know any other way to communicate. You may not be able to undo years of learned behavior, but when you go one on one you will have better chances to nudge them in the right direction.

REDIRECT SPECIFICALLY
Some negative kids may actually believe their negativity is simply them “trying to help.” This isn’t their excuse, actually it’s their genuine motivation. Challenge these negative students to go a step further and ask them to help solve the problem instead of just complain (anyone can complain, it takes leadership to solve problems). We believe God has created some people to see the “holes” so they can actually help by coming up with practical solutions. When a critical mind is connected to a pure heart, great things can happen (it’s the critical mind connected to a critical heart that’s really difficult to deal with).

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...| help your students overcome temptation
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FOLLOW UP CONSISTENTLY
Negativity is typically a deep pattern and one that’s not easily broken. Negative people find it easy to slip back into their old ways. Be sure to follow up on your “coaching” conversations on a regular basis before the negativity resurfaces. Positive encouragement and gentle reminders work great to help keep a student on track. Follow up is especially important if you’ve given a negative kid a new responsibility in order to help redirect their thinking.

We’d love to hear from you: how do you handle negative kids in your ministry?