Overcoming Frustrations in Ministry Begins with God’s Whisper
1/3/2008
Is what I’m going to say bold…maybe? I mean I’m about to put my heart on a platter for everyone to see by admitting to something that many of us in ministry are afraid to verbalize. So here goes…I’m frustrated with the condition of many youth ministries in churches today. There…I said it. Now before anyone gets all worked up thinking I’m quitting and giving up…think again.
So what has become so frustrating? Watching churches and youth leaders fall for the latest “youth group” fad or “feel good” curriculum instead of preaching the principles of God’s Word. Discouragement over the number of “spiritually apathetic” teens today, as a result of many “spiritually apathetic” people in the pews of our churches. Annoyed that youth ministry isn’t taken seriously and that youth workers are sometimes considered glorified babysitters. Let me say this; I take youth ministry seriously and so do you. And frustrated over school activities that draw our students away from church, and the parents that allow it to happen. It seems there is always something that brings us down.
Recently I sat down with a piece of paper and made two lists. At the top of the first column I wrote “successes”, and at the top of the second column I wrote “frustrations.” Guess which column was the longest? As I wrote out my lists I realized God used me to reach the quiet shy kid who now shares the Gospel with everyone he meets. The girl with low self-esteem who now walks each day with confidence in Christ and is now helping others know they are loved and have worth as a child of God. And the rebellious comedian that came to church because his parents made him is now a youth pastor in a growing church. I filled both sides of the paper with the joys and successes God has given me in ministry and I keep that list in my journal. Why? Because I keep adding to it, the lists are getting longer. Can I suggest taking a moment to do a “gut” check in your own ministry? I’m sure you’ll have your own stories of success. Does this list mean we’ll never have frustrations again? Yeah…right! We’ll still have frustrations but instead we should begin to handle those frustrations with a different attitude.
We’re told in Philippians 2:5; “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.” We can choose our attitude. We can either approach our frustrations in ministry with a selfish attitude or “press on” and look for opportunities to continue serving God and serving others. We’re also reminded in Philippians 2:14; “do everything without complaining or arguing.” When we get frustrated isn’t that what we spend our time doing, complaining to God and others about all that is going wrong in ministry? Aren’t you tired of being frustrated? I know I am, and we haven’t seen the end of our frustrations. But the truth is overcoming the frustrations in ministry begins with us. It begins by submitting to God and listening for His whisper just like Elijah.
Elijah had reached a point in his ministry that he was so frustrated, discouraged and afraid that he ran and hid in a cave. But wait a minute...what about that Mt. Carmel moment of victory when he stood up to the prophets of Baal? What could have caused him to feel discouraged and disillusioned that he ran and hid soon after seeing lives changed? Two words...hate mail. Jezebel sent a life threatening letter to Elijah and he ran. "So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, "May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them." - I Kings 19:2.
Eventually Elijah stopped running and found himself sitting under a broom tree in the middle of the desert. His frustrations had reached the point that he wanted to quit, actually he wanted to die. And even though God provided for his needs he still focused on his discouragement. "He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. 'I have had enough, LORD,' he said. "Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors." Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep. All at once an angel touched him and said, "Get up and eat." He looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.- I Kings 19:4-6. After regaining his energy Elijah spent forty days and forty nights in the desert where he finally came to a cave to hide and sulk some more.
There he went into a cave and spent the night. And the word of the LORD came to him: "What are you doing here, Elijah?" He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too." The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?" – 1 Kings 19:9-13
We can all definitely relate to Elijah. How many times have we ran and hid in our cave? How many times have we told God we've had enough? And sometimes in our frustrations we look and even expect God to do something BIG instead of take the time to listen for His quiet whisper. The convicting part of Elijah’s story for me is when God asks him; “what are you doing here, Elijah?” Once I stop complaining about the frustrations and really listened to God’s whisper and hear those same words echo in my heart; “what are you doing here?” It’s then I realize I had been wasting my time sulking and complaining instead of using my primary gift to serve God and reach teenagers with the Gospel.
It’s time to change the course of youth ministry. It's time we to join the ranks of others who have chosen to overthrow the old way of youth ministry and transform youth ministry into what God intents it to be. It begins by listening to God and relying strictly on the principles of His Word. It begins by focusing on the primary gift God has given us. It begins by following the will of God, taking risks, being bold, dreaming big, being real, and becoming more like Jesus. It begins with putting God and His Word ahead of anything else. And it means putting a stop to our own negative attitude and lack of joy.
That’s right…I said our own negative attitude. There is no question that youth workers get discouraged, frustrated and on the verge of quitting (if they haven’t quit already). The frustrations listed are true and it seems we deal with them everyday. And the more we get frustrated the less we depend on God, the less joy we have about our job as a youth specialist. How many times have we sat complaining to God asking Him to change the hearts of those around us that cause the hair pulling frustrations in ministry, but never take the time to do our own gut check? How many times have we sat around with colleagues in the ministry spouting off only stories of discouragement and not stories of successes and salvations? And how many times have we preached James 1:1-3 to our students, but failed to live it out in own life?
It’s amazing how we allow Satan to take one negative in our ministry and turn it into the biggest obstacle of our life. Why are they obstacles? When we allow the negative to become the center of our thoughts and conversations we immediately do exactly what Satan sets out to do; we stop doing ministry and we sulk. The truth is…once we take that “gut” check God will show us something amazing. He showed me the amazing truth that He has given me more successes then frustrations.
Youth ministry is tough. And until Christ returns we’ll continue to face frustrations and discouragements. But what should frustrated youth workers do? Well, we need to first take time alone praying and listening for God’s whisper. That means stepping away from the office and/or anything that will cause a distration (MP3, laptop, kids, etc.) and truly be alone with God. "Be still and know that I am God." - Psalm 46:10. We need to pour our heart out and truly be honest with ourselves and God. And while praying we need to dive into God’s Word and meditate on His principles first, before ideas found in the latest youth ministry magazine. We also need to start talking to those with years of ministry experience who have faced frustration, hid in their own cave, heard God's whisper, and came out having a Mt. Carmel moment. I am learning all the time that no matter how long I'm in youth ministry there is always going to be someone who's been doing it longer. Their years of experience and wisdom can be a valuable tool and a huge encouragement.
So what has become so frustrating? Watching churches and youth leaders fall for the latest “youth group” fad or “feel good” curriculum instead of preaching the principles of God’s Word. Discouragement over the number of “spiritually apathetic” teens today, as a result of many “spiritually apathetic” people in the pews of our churches. Annoyed that youth ministry isn’t taken seriously and that youth workers are sometimes considered glorified babysitters. Let me say this; I take youth ministry seriously and so do you. And frustrated over school activities that draw our students away from church, and the parents that allow it to happen. It seems there is always something that brings us down.
Recently I sat down with a piece of paper and made two lists. At the top of the first column I wrote “successes”, and at the top of the second column I wrote “frustrations.” Guess which column was the longest? As I wrote out my lists I realized God used me to reach the quiet shy kid who now shares the Gospel with everyone he meets. The girl with low self-esteem who now walks each day with confidence in Christ and is now helping others know they are loved and have worth as a child of God. And the rebellious comedian that came to church because his parents made him is now a youth pastor in a growing church. I filled both sides of the paper with the joys and successes God has given me in ministry and I keep that list in my journal. Why? Because I keep adding to it, the lists are getting longer. Can I suggest taking a moment to do a “gut” check in your own ministry? I’m sure you’ll have your own stories of success. Does this list mean we’ll never have frustrations again? Yeah…right! We’ll still have frustrations but instead we should begin to handle those frustrations with a different attitude.
We’re told in Philippians 2:5; “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.” We can choose our attitude. We can either approach our frustrations in ministry with a selfish attitude or “press on” and look for opportunities to continue serving God and serving others. We’re also reminded in Philippians 2:14; “do everything without complaining or arguing.” When we get frustrated isn’t that what we spend our time doing, complaining to God and others about all that is going wrong in ministry? Aren’t you tired of being frustrated? I know I am, and we haven’t seen the end of our frustrations. But the truth is overcoming the frustrations in ministry begins with us. It begins by submitting to God and listening for His whisper just like Elijah.
Elijah had reached a point in his ministry that he was so frustrated, discouraged and afraid that he ran and hid in a cave. But wait a minute...what about that Mt. Carmel moment of victory when he stood up to the prophets of Baal? What could have caused him to feel discouraged and disillusioned that he ran and hid soon after seeing lives changed? Two words...hate mail. Jezebel sent a life threatening letter to Elijah and he ran. "So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, "May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them." - I Kings 19:2.
Eventually Elijah stopped running and found himself sitting under a broom tree in the middle of the desert. His frustrations had reached the point that he wanted to quit, actually he wanted to die. And even though God provided for his needs he still focused on his discouragement. "He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. 'I have had enough, LORD,' he said. "Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors." Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep. All at once an angel touched him and said, "Get up and eat." He looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.- I Kings 19:4-6. After regaining his energy Elijah spent forty days and forty nights in the desert where he finally came to a cave to hide and sulk some more.
There he went into a cave and spent the night. And the word of the LORD came to him: "What are you doing here, Elijah?" He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too." The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?" – 1 Kings 19:9-13
We can all definitely relate to Elijah. How many times have we ran and hid in our cave? How many times have we told God we've had enough? And sometimes in our frustrations we look and even expect God to do something BIG instead of take the time to listen for His quiet whisper. The convicting part of Elijah’s story for me is when God asks him; “what are you doing here, Elijah?” Once I stop complaining about the frustrations and really listened to God’s whisper and hear those same words echo in my heart; “what are you doing here?” It’s then I realize I had been wasting my time sulking and complaining instead of using my primary gift to serve God and reach teenagers with the Gospel.
It’s time to change the course of youth ministry. It's time we to join the ranks of others who have chosen to overthrow the old way of youth ministry and transform youth ministry into what God intents it to be. It begins by listening to God and relying strictly on the principles of His Word. It begins by focusing on the primary gift God has given us. It begins by following the will of God, taking risks, being bold, dreaming big, being real, and becoming more like Jesus. It begins with putting God and His Word ahead of anything else. And it means putting a stop to our own negative attitude and lack of joy.
That’s right…I said our own negative attitude. There is no question that youth workers get discouraged, frustrated and on the verge of quitting (if they haven’t quit already). The frustrations listed are true and it seems we deal with them everyday. And the more we get frustrated the less we depend on God, the less joy we have about our job as a youth specialist. How many times have we sat complaining to God asking Him to change the hearts of those around us that cause the hair pulling frustrations in ministry, but never take the time to do our own gut check? How many times have we sat around with colleagues in the ministry spouting off only stories of discouragement and not stories of successes and salvations? And how many times have we preached James 1:1-3 to our students, but failed to live it out in own life?
It’s amazing how we allow Satan to take one negative in our ministry and turn it into the biggest obstacle of our life. Why are they obstacles? When we allow the negative to become the center of our thoughts and conversations we immediately do exactly what Satan sets out to do; we stop doing ministry and we sulk. The truth is…once we take that “gut” check God will show us something amazing. He showed me the amazing truth that He has given me more successes then frustrations.
Youth ministry is tough. And until Christ returns we’ll continue to face frustrations and discouragements. But what should frustrated youth workers do? Well, we need to first take time alone praying and listening for God’s whisper. That means stepping away from the office and/or anything that will cause a distration (MP3, laptop, kids, etc.) and truly be alone with God. "Be still and know that I am God." - Psalm 46:10. We need to pour our heart out and truly be honest with ourselves and God. And while praying we need to dive into God’s Word and meditate on His principles first, before ideas found in the latest youth ministry magazine. We also need to start talking to those with years of ministry experience who have faced frustration, hid in their own cave, heard God's whisper, and came out having a Mt. Carmel moment. I am learning all the time that no matter how long I'm in youth ministry there is always going to be someone who's been doing it longer. Their years of experience and wisdom can be a valuable tool and a huge encouragement.
Youth Ministry “Don'ts”
Youth Ministry “Don'ts”
Youth Ministry “Don'ts”