True Conversations from Intern Island: Love Your Pastor as Yourself
5/14/2010
“Why is he doing that?”
“Because he’s the senior pastor.”
“What should we do?”
“Support him—he’s the senior pastor.”
These are true conversations from the Intern Island. Not too long ago I started this series based on conversations I’ve had with interns over the past 20 years or so. Sometimes those conversations have landed on a fertile heart…sometimes they’ve just landed in fertilizer.
This conversation is an especially hard one to have. Few of us are lucky enough to have a senior pastor who gets it 100% right, 100% of the time. There are definitely days when you just want to pound your forehead with the palm of your hand and say, “If I can’t have a V-8, can I at least have a pastor who doesn’t see ‘Kumbayah’ as a current praise song??!”
Here’s the deal, interns: You’re gonna make some mistakes. Probably some pretty big ones in these next years of ministry. How do you want your senior pastor to deal with you? Do you want him talking to parents about how irresponsible you are? Do you want him gleaning ammunition from your students? Do you want him speaking well of you, but rolling his eyes as he does so? No. I think not.
Love your pastor as yourself.
As we each work out our calls with fear and trembling, we’re gonna have some hits and we’re gonna have some misses. It’s so much easier to face those misses when you’ve locked arms with your senior pastor and the rest of your pastoral team. And your senior pastor is much more likely to link arms with you when he doesn’t suspect you’re doing it in order to get him into position for a full nelson.
Love your pastor as yourself like this:
- Always—ALWAYS—address your issues with the pastor TO the pastor. Come on, folks, it’s biblical. If you don’t have the guts to speak your frustration directly, then consider that maybe a) it’s not really important enough to be talking about anyway, or b) you should be in a church where they value back-biting, gossip, and disloyalty.
- Tell the truth. There will be times when the pastor’s ideas are bunk. Don’t be afraid to say it…just do so with love. Don’t value your job more than the truth. Don’t value your friendship with the pastor more than the truth. Tell the truth. Period.
- Back him up. Sometimes (okay, maybe most of the time), your truth-telling won’t change the direction of the ship. Unless it’s unbiblical or immoral, stand with the pastor. Be the Robin to his Batman. Be the hard copy to his flash drive. Be the Krispy Kreme to his Starbucks (no greater combination in or under the Earth!). Your relationship with the pastor will absolutely hinge on your loyalty.
- Do the “other duties as assigned by the pastor” as well as you do the youth ministry. Having a strong work ethic and a good work product makes it easier for the pastor to support and/or defend when necessary.
- Pray. If you MUST talk about the pastor—talk to the only one who can really change anything. I know, I know…the deacons, the elders, the personnel committee…they may have some sway. But ultimately, you want to see something different from the pastor—talk to his Creator. Gauge whether or not you are doing this enough by comparing how much you pray for him or her to how often you complain, gripe, slander, or smite.
You’ll probably have more than one senior pastor in the course of your ministerial life, intern. Each one will have their unique “idiosyncrasies.” Each will have his or her own unique call from God (just as you do). Recognize that you aren’t serving together by accident or mistake. God has brought your team together on purpose—don’t thwart his plan.
Join us next time on Intern Island for…Money Matters.
Conversation
Ouch... I've been airing a
This is a phenomenal article.
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