what are they hearing from you? CATALYTIC CHALLENGES?

You have the potential to be a catalyst in your teenagers’ lives.

After the memories have been made and the relationships established, there will be moments when you will have the opportunity to challenge a teenager to make a new spiritual step. With discernment, the right word can propel him/her to connect with God in deeper ways. Here are 7 ideas to help you positivity provoke teenagers:

Start out slow. Build bridges by talking about normal stuff, don’t jump straight into the deep end and ask them to dress like John the Baptist and prophesize like Jeremiah. Every conversation doesn’t have to be a tipping point opportunity, so don’t feel the need to force it.

Draw them closer to Jesus. This sounds like a no-brainer, but there is a subtle temptation to become “the wise one” and cultivate greater loyalty to you and/or the ministry. Instead, make it your goal to help want to be more like Jesus instead of you.

Be committed to their self discovery. It’s so much easier to get out the soapbox, step up and preach. Instead, be a guide in your relationships and set the course, but allow them to set the pace and take breaks along the way. They may not want to go as deep as you do right away, that’s okay. Slow, incremental progress is perfectly okay. Occasionally getting stuck in confusion is fine, too. New vistas of insight are often discovered beyond a plateau of confusion. A common tendency in discipleship is to assume others will grow the same way you do.

Ask questions. A strong, definitive statement typically mutes a response or is met with shallow agreement or hesitant ambivalence. The beauty of a question is that it puts the ball in the teenager’s court and gives him/her space to reflect. When they ask you a question, slow down, don’t rush an answer and when you do answer, do so carefully. Sometimes the best answer can be another question.

Listen well. It’s a gift to a teenager when someone fully pays attention and isn’t preparing an answer while pretending to listen. If good listening results in a short time of awkward silence (because you’re thinking about a response once the teenager has finished) that’s totally acceptable! When you say, “That’s good… let me think about that for a second,” you affirm their question.

Don’t interrupt. Let them finish. Everyone knows you’re passionate! How can you not be? But the expression of a little self control will net big results.

Focus on being faithful rather than successful. It’s okay if they don’t get it (what you’re trying to convey/convince them of), rarely do we learn something the first time we hear it. Planting seeds is success, even if they don’t yet sprout.

A quick aside: refresh yourself with Jesus’ conversation with the Samaritan woman as a way to gain additional insight for how conversation can change lives.

Good leadership builds healthy relationships with your students. Great leadership also challenges them to go deeper.