When Life Gets Crazy

My heart raced as I entered the youth building. Several hundred people were attending a conference at our church but I was interested in finding only one person-my wife. I made my way to my office where I knew she'd be waiting. Inside I found her a few people from my junior high staff and about a half-dozen people I didn't recognize. My wife smiled when I came in.

"It's time Mike," she said. "We're having a baby!" "Right here at the church?" I asked. "We will if you don't get me to the hospital!" Five hours and 58 minutes later I held in my arms a brand new life named Anthony Evangel Nappa. I introduced myself. "Tony", I said, "My name is Dad. You and I are going to become quite important to each other. However I want to warn you about something. I work with junior highers at the church."

Having a child made me understand the tension every junior high minister faces in balancing the demands of ministry with those of family life. It's not easy teetering between your junior high ministry and your family. At times you feel off-kilter. You feel as if you're sitting on one end of the seesaw and then the other-trying to make your life balance.

The Weight of Work
Too often situations arise in your junior high ministry that you dread explaining to your family members. You know your family won't understand when:

• You get 25 phone calls from junior highers on your day off.
• You borrow your spouse's favorite clothes for skit costumes.
• You plan exciting events for your junior highers but rent movies for your family.
• Your junior highers take liberties with your personal appearance. For example youth worker John Hoppis awoke one morning at summer camp to find his bunk surrounded by a group of eighth-grade guys. Before he knew what was happening the guys pinned him in his bunk and shaved his head with an electric shaver.
• Your senior pastor calls an emergency meeting as you're about to leave for family vacation.
• Your junior highers target your house for their pranks and practical jokes.
• You get home late after youth meetings because you have to clean up the youth room.
• Your volunteer quits at the last minute and you're called to fill in.
• You always seem to be available for your junior highers but seldom available for family members.

The Weight of Family
Then there are times when your family commitments disrupt your ministry:

• You make an announcement from the pulpit requesting parents to restrain their kids from toilet-papering your house three times a week.
• Your wife calls the police one night when she suspects prowlers. The police nab your junior highers who are toilet-papering your house.
• You unplug your telephone on your day off.
• Your spouse doesn't want to get involved in junior high ministry.
• You don't want to work 55 to 60 hours a week.
• You're reluctant to take on additional ministry responsibilities such as leading music or preaching.
• You miss a board meeting or a Sunday evening worship service to spend time with your family.
• You pass up volunteer coaching at a junior high school to avoid spreading yourself too thin.
• You feel a need to get family counseling.

Balancing Work and Family
It's never easy to be successful at both home and church. But you can do it. You'll know you're on target when:

• You enjoy going to work but look forward to going home.
• You're home more evenings in a week than you're away.
• You set aside one day each week solely for your family.
• You don't feel resentment toward your church for taking you away from your family or vice versa.
• Your junior highers can see an example of Christ's love for the church in your love for your family.
• You can honestly say you're doing your best to honor God in balancing your responsibilities to your church and your family.
• You realize it's never easy living with the tension of trying to be successful in your church work and at home.
• You seek and follow God's will in keeping balance in your life.